Being in the Moment

By Dr. Natalie Brei

Have you ever been talking to someone and become so caught up in what you'll say next that you completely missed what the other person is actually saying? Felt you're disconnected from experiencing the moment, good or bad? Been at Mass and tuned out the homily, or watched everyone going up for communion instead of being aware of your communion with the Lord and others?

These are normal experiences. But this realization is an invitation for more - for truly experiencing these moments we are given. You may have heard about 'mindfulness' as this practice grows in popularity. With mindfulness, there is an emphasis on selective attention to what is important and valuable in those things that are happening both within and around you. To be mindful is to notice, to be aware, to focus, and to be present in the moment.

Based on the research on mindfulness and the brain, and the positive effects it has on physical and mental health and stress/anxiety levels, schools and workplaces are incorporating short mindfulness-based activities, like taking a short pause in the day to quiet yourself. If you visit a counselor due to anxiety (which is like living in the future, full of worry about what WILL happen) or depression (which often involves being brought down by past events and feeling hopeless about the future), there's a good chance you will run into a discussion about mindfulness to try to bring you more into the present. We don’t always need to be in the present, as reflection is important, but the present deserves our frequent attention -- if we get caught up in thoughts about things that are not happening right now, or upset about the things that have happened in our life, we often miss important parts of the present. And that means we miss what God might be saying to us right now. We miss noticing what we're doing, how we are responding, and how God is acting on us.

But note: there is caution and hesitation about this idea of ‘mindfulness’ because it is associated with practices that can ignore or remove God and focus on simply being "spiritual." There may be a pull to place ourselves at the center of being mindful, like we're raising ourselves up through this sort of self-enlightenment. The goal is to notice what is happening “in the now” so we can recognize and respond and experience. How do we build this practice of ‘being present’ in a way that complements our faith? The answer is simple: to stay true to our faith as Catholics, Christians, and people of faith in God, make sure that God is that center. That the focus on awareness and being present is an effort to recognize how He may be moving us in that moment. And as Christians and Catholics, to place Jesus at the very core of our 'being in the moment' with Him. We invite Him into our moment and send a note of gratitude, a sharing of pain, a sense of longing. We make our goal and practice one of uniting with Jesus.

Now ultimately the goal of being ‘in the moment’ will be to have the skill of being fully engaged, fully aware and attuned, in our daily lives and activities: attuned to God's presence. Aware of the other person we're talking to, attentive to their words, and attentive to our inner responses - rising frustration, confusion, joy, sadness - aware of how our emotions are acting and that we can better control them, because we are paying attention. Aware enough to build a thankfulness as we recognize in the moment all the gifts we are experiencing. To feel the prompting of the Holy Spirit when He whispers - when we feel urged to pray for someone, have a flash of insight about our actions, notice beauty and feel gratitude, feel compassion, or are asked to act. To be truly present during Mass - listening, feeling, perceiving - allowing ourselves to be quiet and receive what is offered. To notice our minds wandering during a reading and gently draw back to the point of focus. To be fully present when the Lord is present with us after communion, in the Eucharist, even when we are engaged and still present in other activities (such as, for me, wrangling children). And ultimately to be able to calm our constant string of thoughts for a period during our day to day and be present enough in the moment that we have an inner calm that is receptive to God, who speaks in the silence. We have to create that silence for Him so we can be aware of when he speaks - so we don't miss it.

Of course, with that ideal goal, we must practice in order to grow in our ability to be present, as any mainstream mindfulness practice would also emphasize. We have to ‘start simple’ because we're not used to practicing awareness of the present, but we do have to get there, because God acts in the NOW - and we can only act in the NOW. We are told in Corinthians to submit every thought to God for his holy will – and the present is the only time we have to respond.

Here are some simple ways to get started.

Breathe in the Spirit: an exercise in deep breathing for people of all ages. Pause for a moment in your day, or set aside a time in the morning or just before bed. Take a slow, deep breath, and imagine the Holy Spirit filling you and dwelling there within you. Breathe out. Breathe in and out again, recognizing how the air feels flowing through your lungs, and try to focus on a sense of peace within that simple action. Small children can watch their bellies rise and fall a few times and imaging the Holy Spirit there physically, calming them. I have the book “Sitting with the Saints" for children, which offers a fun way to connect with a Saint while quieting the body and doing some calm, deep breathing.

Five Senses: Stop halfway through the say to “reset” by taking a minute or two to notice one thing you see, hear, smell, feel, and taste. Send a note of appreciation to heaven for these things in your surroundings, no matter what else is happening in your day or life. This can happen at work, in the car, at school, anywhere. Sometimes we fail to appreciate all that our creator has given us. It can be beneficial to find a space – outside, if possible – and drink in whatever your senses allow, appreciating and being thankful for each one, and making that a part of a brief conversation with God.

Mindful Walk: an awareness of gifts. I often encourage clients to take a ‘mindful walk’ with me, to pay attention to the feeling of their feet hitting the ground, to notice and appreciate the fact that they are alive, walking, breathing, seeing trees or flowers or grass or water: these are all gifts. So often we walk simply with the goal of exercising our bodies while our minds mull over our to-do list or brood over the past. Instead, we can focus at least for a portion of that walk or run on exactly how our bodies are moving, exactly what we are seeing in our environment, to truly appreciate our natural surroundings.

Three Notes of Appreciation: building thankfulness. Reserve a time each day to reflect on your current situation, sending three notes of gratitude or appreciation for those things which you recognize as gifts. This can be very difficult but very helpful in those moments of frustration or stress when we believe everything is going wrong. In fact, there are always things to be thankful for. For example, if my child is being stubborn and refusing to sleep, I can take a short break and reflect on the fact that my child is healthy. This helps us to see the bigger picture and refocus on how we can be God’s instruments even in moments of stress.

Setting an intention for the day: beginning with prayer. In the morning, set an alarm specifically to create an intention for your day. For example, you may pray that you can recognize the Holy Spirit speaking to you or that you can better attend to the present in noticing a family member’s expressions, share in the joy or sadness of the moment, be aware of what triggered anger, or recognize what you are doing that is helping you be more patient or gentle. Frequently check in with how you feel during the day and why. “Reset” if needed by quieting your mind and recalling your day’s intention.