Book Review: When Life Gives You Pears: The Healing Power of Family, Faith, and Funny People By: Jeannie Gaffigan

Reviewed by: Dr. Jeff Vance

Why is a Catholic counseling center blogging about a book by a comedy writer? The answer is because this book is about making the most of one’s interpersonal, psychological, and spiritual resources when facing trauma and an uncertain future. Jeannie Gaffigan is the wife and writing partner of comedian Jim Gaffigan. During Holy Week of 2017, they learned Jeannie had a pear sized brain tumor. This memoir of her experiences recounts with frankness and humor the progresses, pitfalls, and pratfalls of her recovery.

I have long been a fan of Jim Gaffigan. Jeannie’s descriptions of their courtship, writing and producing together, and raising five children in a two-bedroom Manhattan apartment are entertaining enough on their own to make the book enjoyable. As the couple deals with the brain tumor, we see glimpses of Jim Gaffigan that are different from his onstage persona. We see how during the scariest time of their lives, the couple gleans strength from their friends and family, their Catholicism, and their sense of humor.

This book is by no means a glossy portrayal inviting the reader to see how perfect the Gaffigans are and how beautifully they managed. Jeannie is quite open about feelings and behaviors of which she was not proud. She honestly recounts the times she was proud of Jim and the times she was angry at him. She writes about the parts of her who are very grateful to her family members and the professionals who were caring for her, but she also writes about the parts of her who are frustrated with these people at the same time.

This frankness extends to her descriptions of her life as a Catholic. She unabashedly professes that her Catholicism is important to her without trying to sound too preachy. She does not however portray herself and her family as perfect Catholics. Catholics will appreciate some fun Catholic references that are woven throughout the story. Jeannie shares some very personal moments of her struggles with her faith, as well as when her relationship with God provided her strength at her most vulnerable moments. The ways in which God was working in her life and her trust in His will is particularly moving.

Jeannie was not miraculously healed. Her journey was fraught with many setbacks and Jeannie reveals with honesty the joys of every success and the frustrations of every complication. Sometimes her family and friends could carry her through and sometimes they were not enough. Sometimes her faith got her through the tough times and sometimes it was not enough. Sometimes she could find humor in the face of adversity and sometimes she could not. Sometimes hard times are just hard, but “When Life Gives You Pears” reminds us that hard doesn’t need to be the end of the story.

Traumatic events can leave us with psychological wounds. However, psychology has discovered that we can also experience post-traumatic growth. Sometimes these trials present new perspectives that lead us to change for the better. Jeannie walks us through the parts of herself she reconsidered in the course of her recovery. She admits mistaken choices in her life and how she found ways to be truer to her real self.

There are parts of this book that are so funny you may laugh out loud. There are parts of this book so poignant you may cry. And there are parts of this book that may leave you saying “wow!” I believe you may enjoy this book if you or a loved one have ever faced a trying time, if you are a fan of Jim Gaffigan, or if you are a Catholic.

(Note to Listeners of Audio Books: There is an interesting aspect to the audiobook version. Jeannie Gaffigan suffered some nerve damage during her surgery which caused some vocal problems. For this reason, the first part of the book, pre-surgery, is read by Jeannie’s sister Liz who sounds like Jeannie did before her surgery. Jeannie reads the post-surgery portion of the book herself.)